“Dont you ever wonder, ‘just this once, what if I’m honest… just for the fuck of it?'” -Amy Schumer
Words are amazing, aren’t they? Words carry such heavy meaning. A word carries such heavy meaning then when you string a bunch of words together, holy shit. You could move mountains, build civilizations, or tear down Rome in a day — all with your words.
Super quick- think of what you have already said today. How much of it did you mean? How much of it was straightforward? How much of it was bullshit to avoid hurting someones feelings or to avoid making yourself look like an idiot? How much of what you said was true? How much was not true?
This week we are working through Arjava, or straightforwardness. It is a more in depth look into Satya (truthfulness).
Straightforwardness is all about our words. What we choose to say and when. Think of every word you use today as a succulent and miraculous fruit. Think before you speak, think before you hand these pieces of fruit off to someone else. Think before you drop words out of your mouth only to fall onto someone else’s ears. HOWEVER! Also speak with truthfulness. Speak up for yourself. Ask for what you need.
I wrote very briefly on this several weeks ago when we discussed Satya and felt inspired to touch on this whole idea of straightforwardness/truthfulness once again…
We use words everyday. We often think nothing of it. Maybe our words are falling on deaf ears, maybe not. Maybe we are just speaking to defend or to hear ourselves speak. Or maybe our words, that are about to spill out of our mouth will drastically change our future and/or the future of another human being.
I love words. I love to write. I love to drop some crazy words of wisdom on people. Words truly fascinate me. We create things out of thin air with our words. We can dramatically shift the energy in a room, or the emotions within ourselves or another with WORDS. Ask this- What thought do we really give to our words before we say them? What is the line between speaking with thought and speaking with your heart? Is there a line?
I am always flooded with the same memory when I think of straightforwardness and truthfulness…
When I was in college I was absolutely crazy for this rad guy that was taller than me and gave great bear hugs. I probably wouldn’t call it love but for me it was very lovely. It was fun, he was fun, he was funny, he was inspiring, he was ridiculous, it was inspiring, it was ridiculous. I don’t really believe in the phrase “he/she brought out the best in me”. I think that is giving a great amount of responsibility to someone else vs. yourself. You should feel your best because of you, not because of another. You should feel whole and fulfilled with in yourself without giving that privilege and responsibility to someone else. Albeit I’m sort of eating those words because in a total and for sure way I felt like he did bring out this awesome version of myself.
So anyway, I fuckin ran. We were young, fast, furious, and again ridiculous. I THOUGHT that I KNEW that he wouldn’t be able to give me what I wanted out of that relationship or version of a relationship. I wanted more than what I THOUGHT he would give me so instead of being straightforward and saying ANYTHING and asking for what I wanted I played this really dumb version of the “cool-girl” (which really just made me look like a psychopath). And then I ran. I just left in the middle of the night and we stayed friends and I never said or asked for what I wanted. I never gave him the chance to let me down which in turn took the beautiful chance for him to surprise me away. I wasn’t clear or truthful.
I know that I probably was right, that I was wanting more from something that at that time wasn’t even there or ready for what I wanted. I traveled a lot, we’re both young, I didn’t like putting myself out there so I didn’t. At the end of all of that the only person I really ended up hurting was myself.
I learned a lot about myself that week. I learned that I would rather be the one leaving, than being asked to go. That isn’t a fair way to live. It isn’t a good way to live. Because again, it takes away the opportunity for me to speak truthfully for myself. Almost even worse, it took the opportunity away from someone else, someone I care about to speak up.
Every morning we wake up in our bodies, with our minds, our hearts, and our spirits. Every morning we get to make choices on what we say and how we represent our bodies, hearts, minds, spirits. We have the opportunity to be straightforward and truthful. We get the opportunity every morning to speak up for someone else, to help others, to speak up for ourselves, to help ourselves. We get the chance to practice asking for what we need and want everyday. Every morning we get that opportunity. It is so important that we speak truthfully and to the point. If for no other reason than because every night, in sickness and in health, in life and in death, in love and in loss, in relationship, in singleton-ship, in friendship, in marriage, in divorce, the only person we have to come home to and lay down with at night, every night, is ourSELF. No matter what.
Be brave. Be fearless. Be brave in what you say. Speak the words your heart is asking you to. Speak up for yourself. Speak for yourself. Create magic with your words. Be brave and fearless for you, and watch the magic happen. You do you. If you take away nothing else from practice indie, I hope it is that.
*This featured image is me on Ko Tao, Thailand, doing my 23rd rep of my favorite pose, in my favorite setting, on my favorite island, surrounded by some of my favorite people, breaking the cage off of my heart that I had spent 23 years building up. Right after this picture was taken my knees buckled and I fell into the water, under one of the bluest skies I had ever seen. It was one of my favorite days.*